There's music in my ears; Shelter by Birdie, sitting in the study room, where my attention is scattered everywhere else but my books. It's raining right now, and the wind's blowing a bit too strong for my liking.
This song is stirring up a lot of emotions. Sitting opposite me is my first real friend here whom I think, thinks I'm abit ditzy up there. It's okay, I'm only ditzy to the people I love. Two spots away from him is a girl a love just as much. I know how hard it is to let someone in to join an already established clique so yeah, having them really makes me less of a loner in this new place hahahah.
In fact, many people I meet are surprised when they find out it's my first semester. I'm guessing it's cause our mutual friend is in his or her second semester, which makes me look like I am too. It's always kinda amusing when they find out I'm essentially new blood here.
I've just passed the two month mark, of when I arrived in Australia to further my studies. Time flies, doesn't it. To think that when I just arrived here, I was tearing at everything. Tearing at how alone I was, about how there weren't people on the streets! Oh, how I made my mom cry when skyping her. She kept asking me if I wanted to go home and study locally, but no. I know how lucky I am to be able to study overseas and I knew I needed this time away from familiarity to grow as a person.
I always felt like coming here to jot down some of my thoughts, but I never did. I think it was because, to write it all down, I had to feel it all. And by feeling it all, I was afraid it would consume me. I knew if I were to stumble and fall, it'd take a superhuman effort to get back up. I don't want that.
There's a friend who told me how different I was, through our chats. I talked to him when I was sad, when I was happy. I wonder what he would tell me if I were to ask him now.
The UK university term is starting, and there are goodbyes, farewells and take-good-care-of-yourself's plastered all over facebook as almost all the A Level students get ready to depart for a new chapter of their lives. How often my mind wanders to the what-if's had I chosen to go to UK. Bristol, Manchester. What could have been. Don't get me wrong, I'm not regretting choosing Australia. It's just that I wonder. That's all.
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